Is there an app to download for Appreciation?

The month of May reminds me of the character trait known as appreciation.

Families are very appreciative of what Mom does for them, and honor them on Mother’s Day.

Graduates are appreciative of the time their teachers invested in their lives to get them to high school graduation.

Spring flowers and trees budding out remind me of my appreciation for spring and the promise of new life.

So what is your family thankful for? Have only ‘bad’ things been happening to you? If so, it’s important to see some good in it somewhere.

Ephesians 5:20 (NLT) says, “And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

We are reminded to give thanks for everything. It was not an easy task to find thankfulness in the time I’ve slipped and fell in a mud puddle. After finally laughing at myself and the mess I was in, I could be thankful for not breaking any bones . . . just my pride!

Some personalities refuse to be positive and see the good in life. It’s your job as the parent to help them see how God cares about us and is always doing things for us, for which we can be thankful.

The sun is shining at my house today. I’m thankful He keeps that ball of fire just the right distance away to not burn us to a crisp. We have clean water to drink—and many people stand in line for hours for a bucket of water.

We can also be appreciative of the people in our lives. Philippians 1:3 (NLT) says, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.” Paul was thankful for those believers and chose to give thanks for their friendship.

We do need to be appreciative of our teachers, coaches, and family members who invest their time and energy into our lives.

Questions for discussion:

• What’s the most important fact or event you can be appreciative of?

• What was the last “bad” thing that happened to you and you found something to be grateful about from the experience?

• Talk about each other’s strong points and explain why you appreciate them and the joy they bring to your home.

• Just as a parent grins over the precious things their kids do and say, do you realize God is appreciative of each moment you acknowledge Him and make Him a part of your life?

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Loyalty is a character trait that seems to have been lost in recent years. Big corporations are not loyal to executives or employees who have worked 30 or 40 years with them.

Husbands and wives walk out every day on their family, refusing to be loyal to those closest to them.

I’m glad God is loyal to us and will never leave us stranded in difficult situations.

Hebrews 13:5 (NLT) says (with emphasis added): “Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

So how do we teach loyalty to our children where it’s rarely demonstrated?

Start in your home. Show your loyalty to your spouse and children. Make sure they know no matter what they do, you will always love them.

When famous baseball players switch teams, fans are outraged and feel very hurt. Those fans are loyal to the team and players, so when one leaves, they take it personally.

We can also demonstrate loyalty to our church. I honestly fear for the future of some families, when they take serving God so lightly. Matthew 6:33 still states that God wants to be first in our lives. Nothing is more important than teaching and living that truth in front of our children.

Do you realize, if your children decide not to be loyal to God, that you could someday have grandchildren who know nothing about God? Everything can be lost so quickly.

Matthew 6:33 (NLT) says, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

God has entrusted us with the truth. It’s our responsibility to pass these important truths to our children. You have no greater responsibility than to leave your family in the way they should go.

I realize we also need to share this gospel with our neighbors, co-workers and the world. But it starts at home.

Deuteronomy 6:5 (NLT) says (with emphasis added), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.”

Love the Lord. Be loyal to Him. Read His Word every day. Share what you’ve read with your family. Encourage your older children to also read from God’s Word every day. What a great habit to build into someone at an early age. If you are new to reading the Bible every day, there are so many plans and helps available. A good place to start is the book of Proverbs. Read a chapter a day, corresponding to the day of the month.

Remember God wants you to be a great parent. He will not leave you alone during this challenging time. He will always be loyal to you, and no matter what, He’s only a prayer away.

Questions for Discussion:

1. What are some examples of loyalty in the world? (Sporting fans could be one example)
2. Can you think of some examples in the Bible where people were not loyal to God? (Sampson and David both veered from the path, and suffered great consequences from it. But both returned)
3. How can we be loyal to our family?

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Have you had the discussion with your children about leaders and followers?

It’s a scary thought of someone we love following a bad influence and getting into trouble.

Good kids get in trouble all the time because they are at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong crowd. Why is that? We all want to fit in. And sometimes young people do some dumb things to try to fit in.

How can we combat that need to fit in? Make sure they know that unconditionally, they are very loved and accepted at home. Before you open your mouth to criticize, stop and double check. Is it necessary? Or is there another way you can get your point across?

Christian young people should be good leaders and think about the destiny of their unsaved friends and classmates. A horrible eternity awaits those who do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

The younger we can teach our children to be good leaders, the better off they will be. We each have a world of influence at our fingertips and we must take every opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus with this world—starting with our classmates and the ones we share extracurricular activities.

Jesus is our best example of a tremendous leader. He cares for every person we run into–the lovely and unlovely. We need to encourage our family to get in the habit of daily praying for those “God encounters” that only He can arrange.

Psalm 81: 13 NLT says, “Oh that my people would listen to me! Oh that Israel would follow me, walking in my paths!”

Even trips to the doctor’s office or emergency room could have been planned by our heavenly Father, so we could meet someone in need. There were times when money was tight, and one of the boys would have to go to the E.R. Sure enough, there was someone there I could talk to about God. When the crisis was over, I’d laugh and tell God, You can pay for that visit since I know why we were there . . . respectfully, of course!

Following the leader. Will our children follow God’s leadership at an early age, and pray for a Godly mate, the teacher needed for the next school year, the courage to live a Godly life, to be a good example to others and win thousands of souls to Christ?

Psalm 81:10 NLT says, “For it was I, the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.”

Following God’s leadership is so rewarding. And getting the gospel to our friends, one by one, is the best way we can follow the best leader, and lead our friends to Heaven.

Questions for discussion:

What are some examples of bad leadership within our friends?

How can we resist the temptation to fall into the trap of the ‘wrong crowd, wrong time’ situations?

(If our guys were out with friends, or at someone’s home, we told them they could always call us at any time and we would come get them no matter what time of day it was. We promised to never freak out. I always wanted them to feel like they could call and use us as an excuse to get out of a bad situation.)

Think of some friends or acquaintances the family can begin to pray for and hopefully influence for Christ.

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It is spring cleaning time and a good reminder to get the broom, and sweep the evil thoughts from our minds. As parents and grandparents, it is also our job to teach our children how to keep their minds clean and free of sinful habits.

Psalm 51:10 (NLT) says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.”

Romans 12:2 (NLT) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

We also have to prepare our children for the times they will have bad thoughts flash through their minds at lightening speeds. Those thoughts don’t please God, even for a split second. It could be thoughts of jealousy, envy or even thoughts of anger and wanting to cause harm.

Does God immediately condemn us for bad thoughts? Of course not.  He does expect us to do our best to keep our thoughts pure. Equip your children with the blessings of God’s forgiveness.

1 John 1:9 (NLT) says, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

God promises to forgive us when we ask. He knows our weaknesses, and still loves us.

I was reminded of how easy it is to slip into bad thoughts just recently. I was on a plane, reading a book. At first it was just a curse word here and there. I don’t purchase books like that, and don’t even know how this one got on my bookshelf. But I had hurriedly grabbed it because it didn’t look familiar. You should see my messy, over-flowing bookshelves in my house. I love books!

But this one, I couldn’t continue to read. I threw it in the first trash can I came to when the plane landed. I wouldn’t even donate that one to a library. It was allowing my mind to think on things that were not considered pure and clean. The story line was very interesting, and I’d love to know how it ended. But not at the sake of what it was doing to my thought life.

God wants us to be pure vessels with clean minds. The enemy knows exactly how to attack us. Our minds are an easy target. God knows if we think it, and dwell on it long enough; it could become a reality.

Discussion items for your family:

• What are some things God would consider dangerous to think about? (Adjust this one to the age of your children. For example, a young child might be worrying. A teenage son could be thinking of other things.)

• How can we put Philippians 4:8 into practice when bad things do float through our minds?

• How do we ask God to forgive us when we do have evil thoughts? Is it okay to let sin build up in our minds?

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Have you seen what bitterness can do to a person?

It’s like sun damage on a piece of fruit. A good example is a raisin. It used to be a plump, juicy grape before it was dried into a wrinkled little thing. Still tastes good, but looks different.

Forgiveness is a lesson children need to learn early in life and a good reminder for parents. God tells us to forgive seven times 70. That’s 490 times, if my math skills are still correct.

By the time you’ve really forgiven someone a few times; you lose count and probably won’t ever reach the 490 times.

We’ve all had our feelings hurt, our hearts yanked out and stomped on . . . but we aren’t bitter . . . we tease. But in reality forgiveness, and forgetting the offense is not always easy.

Matthew 6:14 (NLT) says, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.”

Colossians 3:13 (NLT) says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Ask God to reveal to you if you are harboring bitterness of any kind. He will let you know. I’ve learned, that harboring bitterness does me more harm that the other person. Usually, they are clueless, and don’t realize they did something you are still thinking about.

Just let it go. Ask God to forgive you—yes, for harboring the bitterness. He can help you forget the incident and then pray His blessings on that individual. Wow . . . that’s totally opposite of what the world teaches.

I’ve learned it’s difficult to be mad at someone while I’m praying for them. Help your children learn to forgive by turning it over to God. Sometimes, I’ve had to pray, “God, I’m having problems with is. I can’t forgive or forget this, so you’ll have to do it for me.”

The verse, Philippians 4:13 (NLT), can help with bitterness, too: “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

Remember that God has forgiven our sins and remembers them against us, no more. We need to do likewise. What do you really prefer, a sweet, juicy grape or the little, shriveled raisin.

Questions for discussion:

1. Is there an incident you are having trouble forgetting and forgiving?

2. What example did Jesus set about forgiving? (Even on the cross, He asked God to forgive those who were doing wrong to Him.)

3. Do you need to ask someone to forgive you for something you said or did?

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I love the way we focus on the heart during the month of February. Not only is our heart vital to our physical well-being, it’s also the key to our spiritual status.

God is there to protect us from so many things, just as the parent is to protect the child. God warns us of the danger of sin, worry, and unforgiving attitudes. We need to warn our children of these hazards too.

Parents, you have the difficult job of teaching your child how to guard their heart. I wish it was as simple as buying knee pads, shin guards, or bike helmets. But it’s not. It’s a process of trusting and learning from the parent at a young age.

I know trust begins before the playground, but that’s a good visual reminder. Remember when they were afraid to jump into your arms from a high place? You had to teach them to trust you. You were always there to catch them with open arms.

You also have to watch for the heart diseases that can sneak up at an early age. Today let’s talk about worry.

God warns us to guard our hearts in Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT): “In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.”

A peaceful spirit is a wonderful attribute. Children can worry about so many things . . . a loud noise, high winds blowing outside, dark, rainy clouds, a missing blanket, a friend moving away. It’s endless.

We need to be parents of prayer—about everything. Nothing is too small to bring to God’s attention. If it concerns us, He wants to hear about it.

Don’t get too busy to stop and pray about everything that is “worrying” your child. You will want that child-soon-to-be-a-teenager to talk to you about disturbing situations. Well it begins when they are three and worried about a friend who was mean to them in Sunday school.

Remember when Jesus rebuked the disciples, for trying to keep the children away? Teach your children to run to Jesus for everything. I learned quickly that children pick up on your facial status, more than words. If you say everything is fine, but your face looks worried—they know it.

Even in scary storms, I learned to not show fear on my face. I ran to God within my heart, with a quick “help,” put a smile on my face and allowed the trust in my heart to back up the smile.

Our heavenly Father always wants the best for us, and learning to trust instead of worry at a young age is so important. And what a privilege it is to introduce our children to God!

Questions for discussion:

1. What are some things we guard our bodies against?

2. Now talk about the spiritual things we guard our hearts against?

3. How can God help us guard our hearts?

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Next Wednesday is February 29—so Happy Leap Year week.

We don’t get a February 29 very often, so may I encourage you to use this “extra” day to have a heart full of worship and praise?

We’ve been talking about different kinds of heart, and “leap” gives me the mental picture of jumping for joy. That only happens when you are really happy and excited.

Teaching our children to have a heart full of worship and happiness should be pretty easy. What are some things you are thankful for? Life, health, your family, your job, neighborhood, your church, the family pet? The list is endless.

There are many things I’m thankful for, including the beautiful state I live in, which includes real estate at affordable prices. But kids don’t understand those kinds of things, unless you teach them the principle of being thankful for everything.

Psalm 105:1 (NLT) says, “Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.”

Help your family learn to be thankful, even for little things. For example, a parking place close to the store’s door on a rainy, cold day. Be thankful and pray at meal time, even at a public restaurant.

Help children learn thankfulness for their clothes, shoes, and toothbrush. When you see a beautiful rainbow, show your thankfulness.

Even in difficult times, the Bible says we are to still be thankful. A friend of mine lost her husband recently. She can be thankful he isn’t suffering anymore and he made eternal reservations for the life after this one. When loneliness sets in, she can be thankful for the good memories and times they had together.

Children need to see, even during sad times, there are things to be thankful for. Ephesians 5:20 (NLT) “And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

I’m thankful for a God who cares and is still in control, even when it looks hopeless. Teaching children to be thankful is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. A thankful heart will receive a good checkup from the Great Physician every time!

Questions for discussion:

1. Is there something you can think of or that you’ve never been thankful for, but should be?

2. Discuss with your family how it feels when someone says “Thank you” for something. Do you think God enjoys our “thank-you’s” too?

3. Think of something that is difficult to be thankful for. Talk about how we can be thankful for that too.

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We recently viewed the tremendous movie Courageous again as a church family. The film reminded me of the need to teach our children and grandchildren the character trait of courage.

Our children need to know it will take courage to say “No” to the activities that displease God. It will take a lot of courage to trust God with their future plans. And parents, it will take a great deal of courage on your part to work together as parents and recognize when the enemy is trying to destroy your family.

I recently heard of a family with a teenage son going his own rebellious, disobedient path. What’s new you say? It doesn’t have to be that way. Mom and Dad never had the courage to say “No” to him and work as a team to discipline him. Now, one can only pray it’s not too late to get his attention.

Isn’t rebellion just a part of growing up? You might ask. There are a lot more verses in the Bible that mention rebellion than I realized.

If we are honest with ourselves, we all have a touch of rebellion in us. Let’s take those New Year’s Resolutions, for example. Are you still reading your Bible every day and trying to be more health conscience as you promised?

Knowing what we are supposed to do, and not doing it, is rebellion. And that is a grievous sin against God. Be honest with your children. Let them know you have issues you battle with too. Assure them, God will clean our hearts of rebellion if we are willing.

Jeremiah 33:8 (NLT) reads, “I will cleanse them of their sins against me and forgive all their sins of rebellion.”

I am so glad God loves us enough to forgive us when we ask.

When King David was ready to confess his sin, he said in Psalm 32:5 (NLT),

“Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, ‘I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.’ And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.”

When our heart is clean and courageous, we feel so much better. Be sure to take the time to explain this attribute to your children.

Questions for discussion:

1. Bring up the topic of rebellion at the dinner table and see what the family has to say. Do they personally know of someone very rebellious?

2. What are some consequences of our rebellion?

3. Look up more verses on rebellion and teach your children to recognize it in themselves.

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Still staying with “January” type of thoughts, what actions of the past (sins) do we need to deal with and remove from our everyday existence?

Oops . . . I hope I didn’t offend. Maybe I should have stated, what bad habits do we still hang on to, year after year?

I’m not even going to discuss, murder, bank robbery, and hit-and-run accidents because you probably aren’t bothered by the “big” ones. What about worry, lying, gossip, negative attitudes, busyness? Please realize, God doesn’t categorize sins into big and little. That is a man-made thing we do.

Have I stepped on your toes? Well, my husband/pastor stepped on my toes this past Sunday when he preached on the tale of two sisters . . . Mary and Martha from Luke 10:38-42.

One was at the feet of Jesus listening to every word, and the other was on kitchen duty. Sure kitchen duty is important if your crowd is getting hungry. But the bottom line . . . it was a good thing Martha was doing, yet it wasn’t the best use of her time.

We must make it a priority to sit at the feet of Jesus and draw closer to Him this year.

So maybe there are some things the family is involved in that isn’t the best use of our time and energy.

Titus 2:11-12 (NLT) says, “For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God.”

When you are in a crowd of people approaching a table at a restaurant, isn’t there always an awkward pause as everyone decides where to sit? You have to factor in booster seats, high chairs, adults-to-kid ratio and left-handed adults. There is also the factor of wanting to sit by the fun, more popular people, not the boring ones. (Not to say there are any boring people in my groups! I’ve just noticed these observations from others!)

I would like to translate that scene to a family devotion time, Sunday school or a church service. Who wants to get closest to the person reading the Scripture? Spiritually speaking, we should all push and shove to get close to Jesus.

We can’t put ourselves back in Bible times and sit as his feet while He’s teaching, but we can hide His word in our hearts and remember He’s with us everywhere we go, at all times. Good and bad. Where did you take Jesus last year which you’d rather not remember?

Intimacy with our heavenly Father is so important to share with our children. If they can learn from an early age, they are never alone and God hears and answers their prayers, what an advantage they will have in life.

(Side note here. God does answer every prayer. Teach your children it’s not always a “yes,” but could be a “no” or a “not now.”)

The closer we are to Jesus, the more like Him we will become and our petty sins will be easier to deal with.

Questions for discussion:

1. What is sin? What are some sins we deal with every day?

2. When we sin, does that please God or make Him sad?

3. What can we do to not sin as much?

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In the northern hemisphere of the world, January means winter and snowfall, at least where I live. We haven’t had a good, long snowfall yet, but I love the clean, peaceful feeling a fresh snow brings. (Especially when I’m safely in doors looking out the window!)

We can continue from last week’s thoughts of a new year, with a peaceful, fresh snow. Do you feel like your home is full of peace? Or is there always strife, yelling and chaos?

Every person, including little children, need to learn the art of a peaceful existence.

Worry and fear is something we don’t have to teach. I’ve survived raising three boys, so I won’t kid you and say stress doesn’t happen in a spiritual home. (Insert lots of eye rolling and dis-belief here!)

Oh, please! Stress, worry, discord are all things found in every home, unless no one lives there! The key is dealing with stress.

In stressful times, remember God never makes a mistake. He’s never on another phone call when you need to pray. You never get a busy signal, or it doesn’t go straight to voice mail. His email is never returned because you typed in the wrong address.

Your children are going to have anxious times. Big tests, chair try-outs in band and choir, the day braces are added to their smiles . . . there are endless opportunities for worry.

Leviticus 26:6 (NLT) says, “I will give you peace in the land, and you will be able to sleep with no cause for fear.”

Even as a grandparent, I’m “concerned” at this very moment of writing this blog. Our second son is on his way home from work to get his wife to the hospital for “Little Sister’s” arrival.

So many things can happen. Will he get to her in time? Will the traffic in Orlando be terrible? Will delivery go smooth? I’m a time zone away and hundreds of miles. Not a thing I can do for the situation except pray and trust God to do His perfect will for their family.

Isaiah 26:3 (NLT) says, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.”

When stress comes into our home, we must take some deep breaths, pray and change the situation. Is the TV blaring? Does someone have some crazy music playing too loud? There are many outside influences that can change the tone in the room. If someone is trying to speak to you and you can’t hear each other over fighting children, or a DVD playing too loud . . . change your environment!

Our TV is not in our main room. We don’t have it playing nonstop. I do enjoy music, but not all the time. Sometimes I want things completely quiet and peaceful. Set the tone of peacefulness in your home. When our boys were little and I lost my temper, I’d send them and myself to our separate rooms so everyone could cool off. I’d pray and ask God to forgive me, and then ask the boys to forgive me too.

God is the only perfect parent. We all make mistakes and it takes a lot of practice to recognize the buttons your kids will push to try to send you over the edge. The enemy will do the same things to your family. If he can get you to skip church, Bible reading or considering a divorce, he’s won. He has your family in a mess . . . right where he wants it.

When stress hits the home, think peaceful thoughts. Take deep breaths. Stretch. Have a glass of water. Eat some protein. Work on the Scripture you are memorizing. Change your personal environment so you can change the one inside your home.

Questions for discussion:

1. Ask your children what a peaceful home looks and sounds like to them.

2. What can each person do to bring more peace to the home?

3. What is a “worry” that Mom and Dad can pray with you about?

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